What is Grief?
Definition: Intense sorrow especially caused by someone’s death.
Grief is normally used in reference to losing a loved one. But the emotion of grief can be expressed by anyone who suffers a loss:
E.g. relationship breakdown
death of a beloved pet
miscarriage/ infertility etc.
There are 7 common feelings when experiencing grief according to the bereavement charity, Cruse.org:
- Shock – It can take a long time to sink in what has happened. Shock can make you feel numb.
- Pain – The pain can be overwhelming and scary.
- Anger – This is often a normal reaction to death. We can feel anger at someone dying too soon, or at the person themselves for leaving you. Sometimes the anger is directed inwards at the things we didn’t get to say or do.
- Guilt – We can often feel guilty for directly or indirectly being to blame for the person’s death. If we didn’t have a good relationship with the person, then guilty feelings can also surface.
- Depression – Many people can feel that life has no meaning after losing a loved one. They may also want to die to join them.
- Longing – Thinking you are hearing or seeing the deceased person is also common. This is the brains way of trying to cope with the finality of the situation.
- Other people’s reactions – Often people do not know what to say. Sometimes they are scared to upset you or may say the wrong thing. They may want to avoid the topic, but you may want to talk about the person who has passed away.
Grief is individual – everyone grieves in a unique way.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no appropriate timeframe. People grieve in many different ways. Years after the death of a loved one, a simple thing can trigger a grief reaction. A song, a smell or even a place can remind you of that person. You may see a gift item and want to buy it for them. “I saw this and thought of you”. But the sadness and loss hits you all over again as you realise this can’t happen.
Is time really a healer?
Time may be a healer but I think you just learn to deal with the pain in other ways. Specific grief counselling from charities (www.cruse.org.uk) or the NHS can really help someone who feels they are suffering alone or needing extra support.
Homeopathy, like grief, is individual to the person. Bach flower remedies are just for emotions and are very powerful for grief. In Chinese medicine, the skin-lungs-bowels are all connected to the emotion of grief.
Contact me for more information or if you would like my help with this issue.